Before i got a job, i was sleeping at 7am and getting up at 4 in the afternoon. And i made all kinds of excuses for myself that it was what owls do. That morning to me was at 2pm and at 4pm it was noon and i would 1.prepare to go out or 2. do what i always do, sleep in, watch bad movies. And that was not a life. because no matter how matter times i called it right, it was always wrong wrong wrong. Everything was wrong and wrong is messing with nature. Why the earth spins? I dont know. But what i do know is that its a force that i cannot reckon with. Nature is nature. And it is not human for me to be as awake as i am now. And at 4 in the afternoon, even though i had just eaten my breakfast. I'd pick up my phone and realise that i had nothing to do. And if i wanted to go out instead of watching movies i couldnt. because i had missed calls 2 hrs, 8hrs earlier and it was too late. or no one would be free. and since Other days i just sleep in, i hadnt missed anyone. and no one had missed me. I was late. As usual. But later, than usual. I had no time to think because i usually woke up comatose. Thanks, of course to nature trying to mess with me. And in the middle of the night, (not MY night) I would start thinking of all the things i had to do like apply for schools and such and these thoughts bore down on me. But then, i would fall asleep, and wake up at 4 in the afternoon, and again it was too late to call in any schools or send in my applications. And just like that, by only ONE factor. I let my life down so much, and i missed so many opportunities. What is life?

Today i woke up stoned and comatose. (And i've been impossible to wake up nowadays, its like im so limp i just fall back on my pillow and its instant sleep.) It's been awhile since i felt that way. I went to French class an hour late and i couldnt learn my les nombres right. I was strangely awkward to anyone who spoke to me and i just. didnt. have. an. answer. for .anyone. I walked out in a terrific daze. And by TERriFiC i mean a fantastic ignorance to everything around me (which is an extremely good thing by the way) and NOTHING affected me. I was like buddha, above and beyond.

French and its Exceptions, a wonderful romanticism, pure poetry and illogical sense. A good thing.