great song.

Gotye- Hearts A Mess from Gotye on Vimeo.

Pick apart
The pieces of your heart
And let me peer inside
Let me in
Where only your thoughts have been
Let me occupy your mind
As you do mine

You have lost
(Too much love)
To fear, doubt and distrust
(It’s not enough)
You just threw away the key
(To your heart)

You don’t get burned
(’Cause nothing gets through)
It makes it easier
(Easier on you)
But that much more difficult for me
To make you see…

Love ain’t fair
So there you are
My love

Your heart’s a mess
You won’t admit to it
It makes no sense
But I’m desperate to connect

And you, you can’t live like this

It isn't very often that i flash the entire lyrics of a song. But i've loved this song for a good many years now. And its just PERFECT. Its perfect. It makes me cry, it makes my heart bleed and it makes me dream, Its perfect. Perfect like Sleeperstar. It has such a dream-like quality that it makes me feel like everything that i write that makes no sense actually makes sense after all.

Let me in
Where only your thoughts have been
Let me occupy your mind

Now hang me up to dry
You wrung me out 
too too too many times
Now hang me up to dry
I'm pearly like the whites
the whites of your eyes

I haven't worn my retainers since junior college. It hurts soo much right now omg. And im sooooo hungry. but if i take it out now its gonna be so painful too. a million thoughts are running through my mind right now about the consequences of wearing them and eating+talking tmr. Especially with 2 french classes tmr. One of which is in a freakishly large group of people who know each other much much earlier than they would know me tmr. You know how sometimes walking into a room and having everyone stare at you isnt a very good thing at all. Hah, who am i kidding. That happens to me all the time. Greeeaaaat, thinking about it makes me even hungrier, adding a plus+75 to my day but also a -25 to daily emotions and hunger level. Im also thinking about taking out my contacts so i can go sleep but i cant sleep cause im so hungry. Or thinking about the nice person who paid my drinks for me at the hotel. And i cant sleep thinking about how nice he is. And thinking about how my mouth hurts so much right now its like im a teething baby with boobs and i just want to EAT something soft. something soft like tissue. I want to eat tissue. And what happens if this affects my speech tmr or i cant eat. And i go into the room shaking like a leaf and everyone stares even more. In a worse way. And what if i cant pronounce my Us even more. :(

I havent been blogging much at all. Its a wonder how many thoughts and how many things i google everyday when im home and i have nothing to do at all. now that im back at work doing stuff, i get upset, i get happy but i go home and i sleep and i wake up and dont remember a thing. yet feeling a strange ache everyday. but theres nothing to write cause i dont remember. and its work. If i were to blog about work, I'd prolly be the most boring person to read about on earth. hahaha. maybe not :) Christmas is up. :)

HI IM AM ECSTATIC AND COMPLETELY BOGGLED AT THE SAME TIME BECAUSE!!!! I HAVE JUST LEARNT FRENCH!
(and i swear it goes against all my basic instincts. Its in some ways like english but in an extremely throat-y/slurred/ exaggerated way with a very very hard to pronouce alphabet -U)

I just felt like digging this picture up :)

so anyway! Here i am to teach you how to speak French!

A is of course the european way of pronouncing - Ah

The normal letters like b,c,d,t,p sounds strangely like some china person trying to speak english but trying too hard so it comes out with a horrid, BAY, SAY, DAY,TAY,PAY

I think the hardest ones are U which has to be pronounced like YUUuuuuuuu WATEVS man i suck at the frickin U. And W-Dooblar-vay.

And theres also how 2 letters sound tgt like EAU- said as o, OU as-oo, and OI as-wa- as in MOI=MWA???(@&#^&^#!*???

and nasal sounds that have to be pronounced UP THERE.

AND MASCULINE AND FEMININE. OH BOY THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNNING.

yknow i learnt numbers as well and while i am such a phail at math i happen to find french numbering SO MUCH easier than learning the words. I guess i havent got to the calculations yet but thank god because i DONT need to go to school and learn accountancy. And perhaps later on instead of using 1- 10. I can perhaps use the actual numbers.

he c'est la vie

c'est tout pour Aujourd'hui

Au Revoir

A Bientot

:)

There's a nice blue bridge after you manage to get your drunk ass past the carpark and not fall asleep on that soft soft grass. No its not painted blue, it has blue blue lights but the best thing is, its nearly isolated except for the occasional people who walk past you like you're a lost cause and ignore the fact that they just got fired from work and they're now going home to a house that's been evicted and empty and taken from them. I feel like that house. Empty. But the best worst thing is.. I've always wondered who on earth would want to live across a blue blue bridge that in your most isolated drunk state seems like the longest most beautiful thing on earth. Its a cosmic feel really, to get drunk. You feel eternally happy and wonder what got you to this existential dilemma in the first place? Temptations everywhere? That tranny just waiting, that slut who on an unmistakable day could just be your neighbour, the guys so tall and lustful. taller than you. And in the afternoon, 99 beer bottles hanging on the wall. You wake up and there it is! A reminder of your lifelong cause to collect every bottle of heineken produced in the entire year, every year. But a broken cause, no less because of the endless excuses of laziness and heaviness. Yes a beer bottle is quite heavy and one thing a person does not want to carry home, including empty wallets, a receipt for a tattoo. I want to just sit on that blue bridge and get so drunk that should i decide to get up, i'd fall on my knees like im praying to god. drink drank drunk. So drunk that im beyond repair and everything in my eyes becomes cloudy and happy. Now that, is my wildest dream. Maybe put in a bag of potato chips and twisties cause i get hungry. Something hot so that i need water and down whatever liquid i see which might just happen to be an accidental bottle of grey goose. And then, I'd be really happy.

"Trust your heart if the seas catch fire, 
(and live by love though the stars walk backward)
Honour the past, but welcome the future
never mind a world
with its villains or heroes

(for good likes girls
and tomorrow and the earth) 

voices who are dreams, 

less into heaven certainly earth swims 

losing through you what seemed myself,i find 

selves unimaginably mine;beyond 
sorrow's own joys and hoping's very fears 
yours is the light by which my spirit's born"
-Ee Cummings

Im pray for my aunt. The woman who gave up studying so my mom could. The woman who is so smart, so independent and so full of self-respect, she doesnt let anyone do anything for her. The woman who lives life so simply, her innocence is that of a child. She takes care of everyone and would give you a jacket to save your life rather than hers. A great person. A great aunt. I pray she gets well soon and that as she lays on that bed she is joined by memories and actualities of the friends and family that she loves. I pray for her to be healthy and happy and painless and well taken care of at all times, everyday. Thank you to whoever you may be. I hope someone's watching over us. 

You know sometimes you get to a point in your life when you dont feel so alive anymore.
(Something's gonna happen. Something that i dont want to happen. Never would wish it upon anyone.)
And then halfway through a birthday, a wedding, a dinner, a prayer, you get the feeling that you've been so caught up in being alive, in living a life, you forget what it really means to have a life. You forget the people you live your life for, the people you live your dreams for, and the people who would do anything for you. 


I miss my mom. I miss her everyday even though i've spent most of my life with her. Because I didnt. I didnt take chances with her. I didnt love her enough. I dont tell her about my day. I dont. I dont let her into my life. I don't spend enough time with her. And when something bad happens we either scream at eachother or stop talking or evade the whole issue altogether until it feels alright to talk again. I dont allow her to be a mother to me. But she's the greatest mom ever to me. I love her so so so so so much. And i dont appreciate her enough. I feel like i have to remind myself everyday how grateful i am and how lucky i am. I feel like i have to remind myself everyday that she is such a big big big part of my whole life, the reason why im alive, the reason why i want to be alive, the reason i would live my dreams for and do anything for her. I love you mommy <3

Great song!

I heard it first on Eat, Pray, Love and i've been looking for it ever since. and then SUDDENLY my friend msn-ed me this link. HAHA ECSTATIC!!!

although now i think the first part of the song is prolly the only nicest thing. NVM IM EXCITED!
yknow how you want something and when you're not thinking about it you get it? nice feeling.

Last wednesday, I went to Universal Studios Singapore.

At first i thought i was going to die when i heard the battlestar galatica was closed for maintenance. Mind you this is the most awesome rollercoaster in the world. but anyway we had stretched ourselves to get up at 10am and there was no way i would have just gone home like that. wrong. choice. ugh this is so frustrating im not going to talk about it anymore. I think we managed to have fun though. 

   

the new facebook. :)







   

   




   

oh i love these vintage posters. explains the multiple shots.




*cue holy chorus*

   

   



the only ride that kept us alive. 

i was totally freaked out even though it was like 20cm away from the ground?! Reminds me of that story of the religious man hanging off a cliff who for that particular moment in his life chose not to believe God when god told him to let go. He hung there for years until he grew old/ died and eventually when he looked down... well my situation. heh.

   








Ti amo :)
ps- 2 days ok! I took 2 days to get this post out. Sucks to be me.